Comedy of Errors I: I Called My Boss FOUG!

Embarrassment at work is not new to me. Embarrassment in general is not new to me. And at this stage of my life, I have made my peace with it. Krishna said all is Maya, and really, who am I to argue with God? So I bear each “incident” with a fortitude that would make even the stiff upper lip of an Englishman curl in appreciation. In other words.....I live my life in complete denial.

So its my first project with our company's new Project Manager, Doug Fillmore. Nice fellow, does not know me and a perfect opportunity for me to grill the cheese, polish the apple, butter the toast or in a non food context, Schmooze the Big B. Boss, not Bacchan. We are using Sametime to communicate and are messaging each other our views on enabling enterprise level change management. We brainstorm, exchanging ideas, trading views, debating options. I am BS'ing away to glory. I finish with a flourish summarizing our entire discussion. “ So Doug, it is evident that blah blah blah....” Send. Moments pass, no reply yet. I read the message I had sent, my triumphant smile turning to dismay.

I had called my boss FOUG! “ So Foug, it is evident that blah blah blah....”

Mentally repeating “its all a Maya.....It's all a Maya” I apologized. Foug, I mean Doug was a champ. Even made a joke about how he is often called Foug Dillmore. I offered to let him call me Banchita Sanerjee.

All in all I did leave an impression, just not the one I wanted.

Weirdo Magnet

You now how there are those rare occasions when some line of a movie or some lyrics of a song or a passage from a book strikes a chord with you? For me it was when Max Bialystock (in The Producers) played by the fabulous Nathan Lane traumatized by seeing the seemingly normal Leo Bloom (Matthew Broderick) pulling out his blanket and curling up on the floor into a fetal position; raises his hand, looks heavenwards and questions in despair-

"They come here. They all come here. How do they find me?"

I see weird people. Literally!

The propensity of strange characters who unerringly seem to find me and then much to my horror proceed to have long drawn out conversations, has led me to believe that I am some sort of a Weirdo Magnet. Snake eyes, the Russian, the reformed dope head who sees angels and demons and wants to be a teacher, the balding salsa dancing desi, the Amway (or something similar) guy, are all but few of the plethora of strange beings I have so far encountered.

However this post is not about any one particular person but about a strange affliction some of them seem to have, VD. No not THAT VD but…you know… Verbal Diarrhea? The UrbanDictionary has several interesting definitions, but I would like to define it as a person whom I have never met previously, opens his or her mouth to say Hi and ends up spewing everything I never needed to know about that person.

No seriously, just the other day I happened to meet a really nice, normal, good looking, middle aged lady. But by the time I said goodbye to her (like in 5 minutes), I knew her father was a manic depressant, she may be bipolar, her brother living in Canada is married to an Indian, she (my weirdo not her sister-in-law) suffers from shingles, her mother was a saint, she has a step daughter and she is worried that she married a man just like her father!

I mean come on give me a break….all I said was HELLO!!!

The Truth of the Matter

George Orwell once said, “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act”. How true!!! No matter how much we hide, cloak or shield the truth, somewhere within us it exists waiting patiently to be acknowledged. We can deny its existence and manage to deceive not only others but also ourselves, not realizing that we are caught in a trap of our own making. There is nothing to fear in this world except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings. Hence on this day I too will speak the truth and free myself of hypocrisy, duplicity and superficiality.
I confess.... the reason for my long hiatus from blogging is because I am a LAZY ASS!!!



Phew….I feel better already........the Truth has set me free!!!

I Know what I am doing this Summer...

Movies Watched:
-D
-Parineeta (2)
-Batman Begins
-Mr. and Mrs. Smith
*Movies I will watch in the very near future- War of the Worlds, Sarkar.

Books Read:
- India Unbound
- Being Indian
- The Glass Palace
- Ground Zero
- Feluda Stories
- Assorted mix of news magazines, Reader digest and Archie comics.

Restaurants Visited:
- THE chola bhatura stand
- Nirulas
- Azzuro
- Haldirams
- Peppercorn
- Nagaland momo stand
- Naivaidyam
- Handi Biriyani
- Buzz
- MK52
- Barista
- Nescafe
- Various chat stands, corn corners, Mc Donald’s, roadside Chinese, a dhaba and miscellaneous other places.
* Have to go and eat there - Karims, Rodeo, Lotus Pond…amongst others. :)

Markets Visited:
- Lajpat nagar (umpteen times)
- G.K. I (again umpteen times)
- G.K. II (4)
- Ansal Plaza
- Kalkaji Market
- Green Park Market
- Delhi Haat

Family Gatherings (happy):
On three occasions.

Meeting Friends:
At least 3 times a week

Besides these fun activities, I watch T.V, spend time with my parents, surf the net, drink endless cups of Chai, do yoga, take on household projects and oh yes…. work on my thesis :0)

I Plead Guilty

Yes I admit it, I have lived up to my name “The Corruptor” bestowed to me by my dear friends! I convinced my poor dad who barely uses a mobile that not only did he need a new mobile which of course I would be using for the duration of my stay, but also to buy one with all the latest features. So we ended up buying a Nokia. My only line of defense is that my dad’s old mobile really sucked and it was impossible to carry on a conversation in it.

Moving on, I have to declare that the “fat boy” rocks! While it may not have the slim countenance of the other models it definitely makes up for it in style and personality. The only complaint I have is that it has the speed of a good-natured elephant lumbering through the jungle.

Before I end this entry I would also like to mention that my father appears to be very happy with his latest acquisition especially after I demonstrated the extremely cool camera and video facilities and the ease with which you could operate all the functions. Thus the moral of the story is that when I corrupt I do it out of love , good intentions and a dash of personal opportunism.

To Write or not to Write...

Why exactly am I starting a Blog??? Well, I am too indisciplined to write a book and the old-fashioned diary does not come with a spell check…yet...I think!!!
I have always wanted to write. Short essays, random poetry and a short story at a creative writing class notwithstanding I haven’t really explored my “write side”..hehehe... ahem, well here is a list of reasons for the existence of this blog-

• Something to do when I should be doing something else
• Something to do when I have nothing else to do
• Save paper, save trees, save the world
• The crazy voice inside my head may actually stop
• Everybody else is doing it
• Do I really need a reason???

Hence I start by quoting Karl Marx "Out, fools! Last words are for those who have not said enough."